Name: Pam
Site: Face Down
Review completed on: 14/05/08
Oh Pam, oh Pam, ohhhh Pam...
No, I'm not re-enacting a non-existent bedroom scene, I'm actually (and unfortunately) expressing my dismay.
And my concern. Small matter of being blinded by one "Derek Shepherd", who has chosen to appear on my monitor in many forms, the first of which being in a hideously bright radioactive green hue. Damn, that bites.
Why the trip down Brightness Boulevard? Fancy that, blinding your visitors so early on in the show, before the performance has really even started.
Did you know that using celebrity images is illegal? What you've done with the green should be considered illegal too in my opinion. I'm on a 24 bit (fiddled with a colour profile last year and haven't tried getting it back to the standard 32 yet) non-glossy LCD monitor and still, he looks bright to me. Depending on your monitor, this bloke could look even worse. To find out, I e-mailed your URL to two individuals, both of whom had the same "ZOMGZ my EYEZORZ" reaction. Sentiments expressed include "fugg! the left hand side of the header burned my eyes!!!"
Must be pretty bloody bright on Winnie Windows, eh?
Uh oh! I'm guessing no one else in the entire history of your site has mentioned anything about this? Typical. It's hard to find online friends who will tell it to you like it is. In any case, this bright dude isn't really a big deal, at least you realise now, right? The final two images of him look fine. I just think you should have kept them all the same colour instead of going from extremely bright to normal.
I quite like the tri-coloured rainbow you have under the blend. Pale yellow, blue and hot pink...that's actually a really effective colour combination. Nice choices!
Damn, you've ruined it all with the inclusion of bright red link colours. Where did you get the red from? Where on your layout is red? This looks daft, it doesn't go at all. Hmm...you could change the red to the hot pink you've used in the rainbow thing? In fact, your entire website contains practically every colour known to man. Tip - choose three or four colours you like best and use them exclusively. Too many cooks spoil the broth, and too many colours spoil what could have been a pleasant looking website.
With every negative aspect of your layout there seems to be a positive one that follows. What a good thing for you! I really like the funky fonts you've chosen for your site title. Very "teenagerish". It indicates that your site panders to the teenage generation. Actually wait...would that mean that it includes turdy tutorials and the like? Oh, forget I said anything, I don't know what I'm on about anyway.
Overall, your layout has been poorly constructed. The header image is huge as hell - this fact alone could be considered an accessibility issue for visitors on slower connections. Horizontal scrollbars are present on my 1024 x 768 monitor. Your sidebar takes up two columns so you've got some chunky, bulky look going on. Having two sidebars next to each other looks ridiculous - you'd be better off with just the one. The only things that I can see that show promise is the rainbow and the font you've used for your site title. Big whoop.
Oh. I'm in your Me section and your double whammy sidebar getup is now located at the bottom of the page under all the writing. You're using absolute positioning in your divs, and this isn't good for cross-resolution compatibility. You need to be using floats - check out this tutorial at Tutorialtastic for more information.
Sadly I can't view the second half of your content here because of the sidebar covering it. From what I can see, you've kept your information brief yet you've still managed to describe your preferences, your age, and your location. That's good enough for me.
By the way, it's okay to be a little vain, don't feel bad. I disagree with your comments about your picture though...what's so unpretty about it? You look fine to me.
I don't like the way you've set out your You section. A plethora of tiny smallish green boxes, all with an image at the top which you have to click to go further. Why don't you just have text links like everyone else?
Icons, Blends, and premade layouts - no thanks, I'll pass. I'm far from interested in seeing a barrage of unlawfully obtained celebrity images that no doubt take eons to load anyway. Oh and let me guess, credit is oh-so-required?
I don't think much of your Brushes... at all! Especially the second set. Did you do these whilst blindfolded? Take it from someone who knows - don't put up graphics / resources unless they're of a reasonably high standard. I started learning how to pixel last year and quickly put up a page of adoptable mice. People adopted them, but believe me, they were shockingly shite. I soon realised this and took the page down, knowing that I shouldnt have offered them in the first place because they were fucking awful. Perhaps you should do the same with your brushes - keep practicing until they're of a higher standard and then offer them to the public. No one in their right mind would use your brushes unless they felt sorry for you - probably the same reason people used my mice. Keep practicing Pam, you will improve.
Your fonts page failed to impress also. Action Jackson = the new version of Comic Sans. Seriously, that font has zero credibility. In a way I guess it's nice of you to provide some fonts, but one has to wonder why - people generally tend to rely on actual font sites to get fonts. Font downloads on personal sites = desperate grab for content.
I'm fully aware of the fact that this review is one massive bitchfest. I honestly wish it didn't have to be this way, but I can't write about the positive elements of a site when they so far do not exist. So with that said, I have to tell you that your backgrounds are below par. Way below par. Maybe even the worst set of website backgrounds I've seen in my entire life. You have an array of polka dot backgrounds here, and the dots don't even align properly! I've put up one of your backgrounds here so you can see what I mean. It looks like a genetically modified (therefore large) inverted ladybug has committed suicide on my computer screen. I mean, the dots look like they've been applied whilst blindfolded...getting a sense of deja vu here (remembering your brushes page). The next background depicts a menagerie of childish scribblings - ampersands, brackets and the like. Lame-o. Then, last up, there is a Beatles background! What have you done to what is otherwise a beautiful, universally recognised image of the Let It Be album cover?? This background section of yours would be much better minus the random inclusion of this celebrity image. While you're at it, you might want to ditch the polka dot backgrounds and learn how to align the dots in a more appropriate fashion, instead of closing your eyes and randomly placing them willy nilly.
Your PS Tutorials section follows up next, and consists of two tutorials - curvy strokes and blending images. *shrugs indifferently*
These are okay I guess, not that I care, but yeah. What makes your tutorials so different from the umpteen other sites that are offering the same thing? Something original would be nice from you, but I'm afraid I'm losing hope on that score.
The next two links are Advertising and Reviews, which are also located on your main navigation. Why the double up? Oh, get it together would you.
Next up is Orders, where visitors can "Order layouts, CSS and etc., for free." Well of course it's for free. After clicking this link I was taken to a "Pickup" page which housed yet another link saying..."Pick Up Page". Why the magical mystery tour? Why can't you just make it so that visitors can access the page directly?
Lucky last....Portfolio. Unfortunately the images here still hadn't begun to load after five seconds so I decided to return to the menu. Sorry.
Your Site section looks pretty standard - past layouts, history, credits and whatnot. Should be fairly easy and straightforward to review then, right? I can only hope. Hope is all I have left when it comes to your site.
How come you've got "Facedown.Misterunscripted.Com" here? Your URL is Facedown.Snapbeat.Org. This needs to be updated.
On your History page, you prove you're human by making several grammatical errors:
I was saving icons into my site and I was very confused why it won't show up. I checked every nook and cranny of the code, the URL but there was nothing wrong. I ask Cory and he said there is something wrong so he ahs to delete my subdomain and recreate it. I backup my files but it took me a while to upload it. I kind of suddenly loss interest. But after a week or two, I was back and regained my eagerness.
No worries - simply paste this in instead:
I was saving icons to my site and I was very confused as to why they weren't showing up. I checked every nook and cranny of the code as well as the URL, but there was nothing wrong. I asked Cory and he said there was indeed something wrong , so he had to delete my subdomain and recreate it. I backed up my files but it took me a while to upload them again, and I suddenly lost interest. After a week or two, I was back and regained my eagerness.
Affliates & Link Exchanges = Affiliates & Link Exchanges. You've had your site reviewed by two other WPR's - Dirty Martini and Taking Chances. The first site took too long to load, but the other one loaded within seconds. Didn't think much of their review to be honest...but then again I find that WPR's who review your "Friendliness" and "Link Back Availibilty" [sic] lack credibility in general. I know that my own review is going to come as a shock to you, especially as it's such a contrast to the sugarcoated glop that Taking Chances issued you with. I guess I just prefer to serve up a no holds barred, honest critique. I can't stand bullshit, and I can't stand it when people lie to me telling me something is good when it's everything but. I wonder if you feel the same?
YourPromotional Buttons page contains a pleasing array of link back buttons. Nice work.
"Oh no" were the two words that sprung to mind when I took a look at your Reviews section, particularly when I saw the table of completed reviews at the bottom. The star graphics aren't so great...they look shabby and kindergarten-ish. I wonder why you bothered to draw them yourself when you could've just used a Photoshop shape?
Meh, Advertising. Why bother with this scheme that, quote, 'helps you and me promote our sites and get more hits!'. According to your Extreme Tracker you get less than 30 unique visitors per day. Is an advertising scheme really going to prove effective for you/your applicants when you receive minimal hits? I don't think so. No offense, it's just not viable that's all.
The negative aspects definitely outweigh the positive when it comes to your site. The general quality of your graphics is nothing short of appalling. The content isn't much better - to say that the bulk of it is stale and unoriginal would be an understatement. In time I am sure you will improve, especially now that you've finally been made aware of some concerning issues. As it is right now, Face Down is a prime example of a substandard teenybopper site made by someone who doesn't seem to know any better. I'd love it if you could turn this around and prove me wrong.
