Name: Mariah
Site: Velociteen
Review completed on: 17/05/08
I immediately did a double take when your site loaded. I thought I'd been redirected to a random commercial site, since what I saw in front of me looked so cheap and impersonal. Soon enough I noticed the banner in the middle of the screen which read "Velociteen. Advice, support and friendship. Made by teens 4 teens. The velocity of your life". Velocity means "speed", and there's certainly nothing here on the exterior that is going to set my pulse racing. I know it's all about what's inside, but seriously...why the tacky exterior? This is a teen site - an environment you've created with a specific target audience in mind, and I'm wondering why you're inadvertedly pandering to business people instead. It's like you ripped off a corporate website and slapped your own banner in the middle. Everything else - including the picture of the woman at the very top - looks so out of place. I'm not necessarily accusing you of jocking someone elses' work, I'm just saying that people could easily believe that you did.
In any case, your layout is in serious need of a major revamp. This is a teen site, so make it look like one! Make it appealing. Your audience will enjoy the site all the more if it is pleasant to look at on the outside. An attractive layout has many benefits - like it or not, this is the first thing new visitors will judge your site on. I'm sure your site has plenty to offer and I'm looking forward to exploring it but man, your layout is such a turn off.
Where to start...
The quality of the blue Velociteen banner contrasts significantly to the graphic of the girl at the top of the site. This blue banner looks stretched, the font you've used looks cheap and nasty - look at the jagged edges on the lettering for example. This needs to be smoooothed! What's with the blonde girl, she looks like she's writhing in ecstasy.
O Captain! My Captain! A box has just magically appeared in the middle of my screen, going on about Live Chat! It doesn't look like you've tried to customise the application at all, there's a cheap looking banner at the top saying "Company Name" and an identical one underneath. Why doesn't you put Velociteen on it or something? After I typed in my question I was taken to a token 'please be patient' screen, but it took too long. I'm on dialup, but I've managed to get into chat rooms etc just fine in the past, it doesn't take long at all.
The blank box on the sidebar looks funny. You should think about including a brief welcome message inside of it, telling your visitors what the site is about.
Tip: Ditch the Paypal Donate banner. Your layout looks tacky enough as it is, you're already doing fine in that department.
Finally, what's with the double navigation? You've got a menu at the top and one at the bottom as well, even though the links are identical. Weird! The menu at the top looks better, so if you decide to get rid of one I definitely vote to ditch the one at the bottom.
The first link on your menu is Velocihost. A webhosting plan. Sorry, can't hide my disappointment, I was just expecting something logical instead, like About Us? I'm not interested in reading about this. It bores me. So much for the "teen crisis site" pretense, eh?
How to velocify your site contains the same information and the same application form as the main page for this section. Could you be any more desperate for hostees? You could at least try and fool people into thinking it's not about the money.
Aspiring Web Designers Wanted explains how you will pay successful 'web designers' money in exchange for producing high quality designs. Whoever created your design clearly needs to be taken off the payroll.
Your Features section is jam-packed full of content - you seem to have covered everything here, from beauty to embarrassing moments, homework help, horoscopes...the list goes on. You have tonnes of pages here so I couldn't possibly comment on all of them. I had a good look through them all however, and yeah - interesting stuff. You've put a lot of effort into this particular area and believe me, it shows.
Next comes Support, also known as the advice directory. Most questions are answered in less than two hours? Wow, that's pretty good. You've provided a list of several categories, eg Love, Friendship, Babysitting etc, as well as a list of the advisors who take care of the particular categories. I decided to check out "Bebo's" advice in the computer section. I read the question from someone who had a problem with having to connect their mouse into a USB port. Bebo answers the query with the following:
Is it to late to return this product?
It seems to me it if faulty.
Sometimes URB mice get like that.
Best is to get a new one.
Umm....yeah. Perhaps Bebo should return to his/her Remedial Reading class asap, leaving the advisory role to someone who is capable of stringing a sentence together. You're losing credibility by having this individual on board. If you have a "Burger Flipping Techniques" advisory section then perhaps this character would be better suited to that? All the other advisors seem fine, especially Heather and yourself. You come across as friendly and approachable, and that's obviously crucial.
The main page in the Organization category displays a PayPal button. Unmissable. Seen this before...ah yes, you've displayed it elsewhere too.
The sublinks also blatantly display the increasingly frustrating PayPal button. I'm going to start referring to it as the Beggar Button.
You've done a great job outlining the purpose of Velociteen on the About Us page. Very well written.
By visiting and using our website, you are helping us achieve our goals of making the world a better place for everyone.
Hate to rain on the 'VelociParade', but...oh, forget it.Who am I to stand in the way of someone's unrealistic goal? Good luck with it, I guess.
Uh oh...your Donate page...
We want to be able to help you out in any and every way possible.Running Velociteen costs a lot of money.
Hundreds of dollars go into the maintenance, innovation, and upkeep of Velociteen annually.
You can help us keep our website and online community up and running by donating towards our VelociVation Fund.
We want to be able to help you out in any and every way possible.
^ Yes I know, you've already stated the same thing at the beginning of the sentence. I don't see how your site costs hundreds of dollars to maintain? What happened to doing things for the love of it? Providing advice and a happy, safe environment for teens should not come at a cost.
Your Services page is totally pointless. How many times have I been exposed to your bloody PayPal button? Too many, that's what. Every page in this section is blank apart from the button.
And this brings me to the end of my review.
Your layout was a major concern for me. There's nothing more offputting than coming across a stark, lifeless layout - especially when it's supposed to be one for a teen site! This is a site for teens - start realising this, and start to make some crucial changes. You're obviously wanting to look professional, but you can create something that appeals to teens at the same time. Check out another teen site, Gurl.Com for example. Decently structured with a fun, vibrant mix of colours. This site smacks of all things teeny. Yours does not. Teen Central is another good example - they're rocking a professional look and catering to teens at the same time; appealing to them by way of bright colours and funky fonts.
It's clear that you've put a reasonable amount of effort into the upkeep of your site. This is particularly shown in your Features section - that's where the quality, teen-oriented content finally reveals itself. As for the rest of your sections - meh. Didn't do anything for me I'm afraid, it just seemed like filler content to me. In my opinion you should simply stick to what you're good at - providing appealing content for teens. Quit trying to come across as a business...it's a turn off.
Side Note:
I guess I should address the appallingly rude e-mail you sent me earlier today, accusing me of bashing the Christian faith. Calling me ignorant, wrong, foolish, accusing me of stereotyping Christians...blah blah blah, yawn yawn yawn. I suggest that next time, before you decide to get your religious knickers in a twist, you read my blogs properly. Nowhere, nowhere did I say I had anything against the Christian religion as a whole. I was merely relaying my experience with a fundamentalist preacher who told me that my beloved Gramps was in Hell. How DARE you decide to use my awful experience as a platform for insulting me, twisting my words and trying to brand me as a religious basher. Christianity is a good thing. It is the Christians, certain types of, that are bad. Your religion itself is not a fault - the god-fearing, hurtful fundies involved in it are. It is these particular individuals who tarnish what is otherwise a good religion. I made that crystal clear in my blog yet you, for some purely idiotic reason, decided to read between the non-existent lines and send me some aggressive crap through email. I find it incredible that a self-righteous, judgmental, accusatory individual such as yourself provides advice for teenagers. I hope for your sake that these traits of yours are not exposed when it comes to giving advice to others. If it is, then hey, I guess I'm not the only one who likes to flaunt their hypocrisy.
You lost all credibility with me when I discovered that you were emailing me under an assumed name. I suppose you thought that if you went under your real name I'd give you a bad review on purpose. Actually, I'd more or less completed your review before I'd even received your email.