Name: Anguish
Site: fakexglitter
Review completed on: 11/09/07
SPLASH PAGE
No splash.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Two gaudy pink bunnies saying "Kiss me, kill me" and a layout that displays the word "Rape".
It's going to be a long night.
LAYOUT
How shall we tackle this? Okay, we'll put the trashy aspects aside for a moment and begin with structural issues. Your layout is weborexic to the skinniest degree and is suffering from a severe case of 'left-itus'. Do you have some sort of obsession with left alignment? I mean, hey, sod the rest of the bloody page, let's smush our layout as far into the left as possible, because it's what all the kewl kids do! Wake up - this look was in for a few months mid 2005 and it quickly went out of fashion. Get with the times. 2005 called, they want their fad back. Oh crap, accessibility guru Jakob Neilsen is on the other line, wait a sec...
He's basically saying that you're using iframes to display your content instead of divs, and that the stars (or sperm, or whatever they are) that are being used as a background is not a good look at all, and that this could prove distracting for visitors. It doesn't take a genius to work out that animated gifs should not be given background attributes.
I can read the font you've used for your blog frame, although this could have been made a little larger. The sidebar text is even smaller, and although I can obviously still read it, it's not enjoyable. By the way, it pays to put a date on your blogs.
Now for the graphic itself. Well, if you wanted trashy and disturbing, you've got it. "Kiss me, kill me, rape me with your words"??? Is that some dodgy lyric from one of those faux punk bands the younguns listen to these days? A totally inappropriate adornment for a website layout. Rape is a very serious matter, a tender subject. It seems to me you're just chucking this word about like you don't even care. Again, wake up and see the bigger picture.
Interesting bunnies you've used by the way...I instantly recognised them because they look utterly shite. Oh, and I suppose there's the small fact that I made those bunnies. In fact, that was my very first attempt at pixelling. I thought to myself "I want to pixel", and ten minutes later I'd come up with that shocker. I believe the bunny can be found in the Blog Archives under "June". Had you asked for the graphic I would have happily given you permission to use it, but no, you nicked off with it and then you were stupid enough to use it in a layout and then submit it to the very same site you stole it from. Good going, Einstein!
It's just an uberly crappy rabbit for fucks sake, why be dishonest about it?
I get the impression you're trying to come across as intimidating on your sidebar. What with the threats to 'hunt someone down and make them pay' for stealing your content? Ooh, and that you 'know their IP'. OooOooh! My knees are knobbling, fear induced urine is seeping from the PSGR nethers, I'm totally shit scared.
Being slutty is nothing to be proud of, so I don't know why you've mentioned it on your sidebar. You have a Genius addiction? So you're addicted to geniuses? I've never been one for fetishes myself.
Finally (still on your sidebar), DISCLIAMER = DISCLAIMER.
CONTENT
Anguish
Yeah. Hi. The name is Anguish - don't wear it out.No one is interested in getting to know you when you introduce yourself like that. Cut the crap and introduce yourself properly like everyone else does. Would it kill you to be a little more friendly?
I see you are from Wyoming. I went through a phase of being obsessed with my website statistics and attempted to record at least one hit from every state of the USA, within the space of one month. I would have achieved
this, except for Wyoming and Vermont, as I did not receive any hits from those particular states. Oh well, better late that never, so thank you WY! To be honest I don't know a lot about the state, apart from the fact
that it was the first state of the USA to give women the right to vote. The first actual country though, was New Zealand. The chick on our $10 note, Kate Sheppard, brought this about. Well, there's a bit of useless information for you!
Unfortunately this page was rather bare. You've mentioned your hobbies though, and a couple of your favourites - these would definitely be worthy of elaboration. Would love to read more about your hobbies too - anarchism, rebelling against society and the English language. Have you read the Anarchists Cookbook?
Ah! Your favourite movie is Dazed And Confused - it's good, isn't it. For your favourite TV show, bring up "American Chopper" (I like this one too) so that it's next to the colon as it should be.
You
This was okay, but it could have been better. All of your opinions (on George W Bush, gay rights, abortion, 'marriwana', and Britney Spears ) consist of one sentence each. Not much of an effort there.
MARRIWANAIf you're ganna smoke it just smoke it!!!! GEEZ. The world is much better in green neways.
Firstly, marriwana = marijuana. Secondly, are you suggesting that when one takes marijuana everything becomes green? I assure you it doesn't. All that happens is you feel strange and out of sorts, and can't wait until the feeling wears off because it's such a hyped up thing that has come to nothing. I've been there and done that, and it's nothing special.
Site
Do you study to confuse me or does it come naturally? I'm obviously brain dead, to hell with the fact that my IQ is 150 because the following confuses the shit out of me:
So I came up with the site title because there is a saying that all that glitters is not gold. Therefore it is fake. Glitter may shine, but that does not mean it is true at heart. Glitter can shimmer, but is the shimmer justified in it's actions? Glitter is beautiful but what is underneath? Nothing is underneath, and the world is a dark deathly realm.I'm so baffled that I'm not even going to bother correcting the spelling error you made. Oh fine, it's = its. Umm, I kind of understand what you're going on about but all the talk about the justification of shimmering kind of threw me headfirst into the pool of confusion. The bit about the world being a dark deathly realm seems kind of morbid and doesn't quite fit in with the rest of your babble. Ah well, I'm just going to resign myself to the conception that I am a braindead fool.
Minus one QIS star for lowering self esteem of reviewer.
Just kidding.
I have a part time job at Tim Horton's and with the wages I am saving money to buy a domain. When I have a domain I will learn C Panel, java and divs. Since I'm not on a domain I don't need to be like that yet because I'm just hosted.javascript:document.forms['EditForm'].screen.value=3;document.forms['EditForm'].submit(); What's stopping you from learning Divs before you get a domain? What's java got to do with anything? You don't have to have a dot com behind you to learn about div layers and programming languages.
WWW
Affiez = affies. Wanna - want to.
Haters and stealers - "None yet. Keep it that way bitches." Wow, you're really nice aren't you? Careful you don't turn out like me, my friend.
SUMMARY
Anguish, Anguish, Anguish. This has been an interesting trip, but not entirely for the right reasons. You come across as an aggressive, confrontational individual and you don't seem very approachable as a webmistress. If you're a bitch, then you're a bitch. Whatever. At least make an effort in the friendliness department - if you want your visitors to get to know you then you're going to have to start respecting them and stop coming across as someone who is generally angry with everything in the world. That's your own outlook, but all the same, please try and make an effort to come across as a more pleasant person. I myself bitch and moan like nobodies business, but I'm not completely rotten. Take my advice with this please, because you won't be making any friends at all with an attitude like yours.
Your content was an extreme disappointment. The Anguish section wasn't so bad although it needed adding to, but the Visitor section? An absolute disgrace. You have made no effort with this whatsoever. I suggest you delete all this tripe and start anew, including some original content instead of the lazy collection of external links to shitty games that no one is interested in playing. Elaborate on your opinions for starters. Write some articles maybe.
Good luck.
