Blog archives: May 2008
Saturday 31st May 2008
Yawn...
It's been three days and I still haven't managed to catch up on sleep. Since Wednesday I've maybe had about 8 hours sleep altogether. I'm still having trouble getting my thoughts together to write a semi-coherent blog, I'm afraid you'll just have to put up with this unstructured babble for now. On Tuesday night I had no sleep at all because I knew something was wrong with James. On Wednesday morning he confirmed my fears by ringing me up from the hospital and telling me what had happened to him.
A few hours after I spoke to him I was on the bus to Wellington. I hadn't been in a bus for years...last time was on a school trip somewhere, and I left school like five years ago. Some Maori guy was sitting near me and he was blasting 'music' out of what appeared to be a portable hand held stereo. No one would even say anything. I couldn't be bothered saying anything myself because I was tired and too upset. For most of the trip I was looking out the window crying. Luckily the douche got off the bus in Foxton which is only half an hour away from Palmerston North. Then, in Levin, I decided I was busting for a wee. I got up and walked to the driver and asked if there were any scheduled rest stops. He grunted, "no". I couldn't believe it...no toilet stops whatsoever? Wellington is 2 hours 15 mins away from Palmerston North! I managed to hold it in thank god. Apart from the wee wee woes, the trip down was pleasant. The sun was out the whole time until we reached Wellington, when it suddenly because freezing and drizzly. Typical Wellington.
The bus dropped everyone off at the Railway Station, and as soon as I'd gone toilet I took some money out of my bank account. Last week I decided to start saving for a Macbook, and in the space of one week I went from negative four dollars to $162.00, with money made from sales on Trade Me. I took most of it out because I didn't know if James had any money left since the Wellington Hospital had made him pay for the ambulance ($160) when he was still unconscious. I took a taxi to the Wellington Hospital, which is a tumble down, poorly run place run by Capital and Coast District Health Board. If you're a New Zealander into current events you'll know that Capital and Coast DHB are under investigation by the government because they're so shit, and that Wellington Hospital is known as the most poorly run hospital in the country. I didn't recognise James at first because he looked so fucked up. His injuries were a fractured skull, two broken fingers, grazes all up his arms and legs and all over his face. His face was swollen and he couldn't open one of his eyes. It was bright red and the eyelid was swollen like hell.
It seems that someone tried to steal his wallet, and then when they realised it was chained to him they pushed him over the fence and into the sea. This is in the Oriental Bay area in Wellington. He landed on some jagged rocks which left a hole in his skull, and obviously he was unconscious. If someone had not have found him he would have been swept away by the tide, no doubt to his death. What kind of coward comes up to someone from behind? James can't even remember anything, I'm only going on what the man who found him said. James is perfectly capable of defending himself, especially as he carries a weapon. (Luckily the hospital didn't go through his pockets!!) But I guess the whole thing happened so quickly he couldn't do anything. His car was parked close to where he was assaulted, and we were worried it wouldn't be there. It took over an hour walking in the pouring rain from the hospital to the car. Fuck people are nosey, people were staring like anything. I was leading James since he's virtually blind without his glasses, which were lost when he fell.
Some jogging fag in a yellow spandex jumpsuit nearly whacked into James and I flew off the handle a bit...I was like "Fucking watch it cunt" and he turned around and gave me the finger. Ooh, I'm so scared! So I was yelling "Fucking watch where you're going you skinny runt! You fucking fag!" and he yelled something else which I didn't hear (no doubt the whole skank thing since I'm blonde) and ignoring James' protests I started on the "come here bitch!" getup...he was skinny as hell, taking care of him would have been a breeze I'm sure. He never came back. Why do they never come back?!?! Of course, I would never have said anything if the guy was more solidly built. I'm cocky, but I'm not stupid. Sometimes it's best to keep quiet, unless you think you can take on whoever it is you have the problem with.
Anyway, we finally got back to the car and warmed ourselves up since it was freezing outside. As I've said, James has extremely poor vision without his glasses and he couldn't see to drive, and even if he had his glasses he still wouldn't have been in a good condition to drive. He had asked to stay another night at the hospital but they had booted him out because they needed the bed. There was only one thing to do in order to get back to Palmerston North, where James could rest up and be warm and comfortable. I would have to drive. Not a problem, right? Well, I don't actually have a drivers license - not even a learners - and I'd only driven James' car once. It's a manual, and a few months ago I tried to learn all the gears and take it around a vacant carpark. Big whoop. I've been driving automatics since 2004, but even in automatics I've never really been on busy big city motorways. I've only taken cars on deserted country roads, and only at night time because I prefer driving at night. But somehow, I did it. We waited till about 10 pm to leave, so the roads would be quieter. There was no other way to get him home. The drive surprisingly went smoothly...a few problems with the clutch at first but I got better as time went on. I hadn't had any sleep so to try and wake me up I had the windows down the whole way when it was 2 degrees outside. When we got to my house I set James up in my room and I took the sofa. I have a single bed, and although it isn't anorexic like some peoples' single beds, it was better for James to be in there alone because I could have rolled into him in the night and hurt him.
James, Nan and I went to ACC yesterday to try and get some compensation for James' loss of earnings. I waited in the car at ACC because I tend to get angry when placed in the company of bureaucratic government workers. I've been so fucking cranky lately. After the ACC we went to the McDonald's drive through. At this particular drive through they have workers standing outside who take your order via a PDA, instead of simply driving to the speaker and saying your order. Nan has never had McDonald's in her life and the worker was a bitch to her. She yelled at Nan to "JUST DRIVE!!!" just because Nan didn't know to drive to HER and not keep going to the speaker. So I said "Don't you fucking speak to her like that" and as she was taking our order it was full on evils from her that's for sure. Don't fucking speak to your elders that way, just because Nan was a McNoob! Maybe she has more sense than to stuff her face with your greasy HORSE MEAT food. I know she has one of the worst, most poorly paid jobs out, a job that is synonymous with 'retard' and 'idiot', but there's no need to take it out on a 68 year old.
Sorry for being in a bad mood. It's been a long few days. I honestly thought James was dead when I hadn't heard from him. We are always in contact, and when I hadn't heard from him I didn't know what to think. And then when I called him and it went straight to voicemail...oh thank goodness it's all over now. The only problem now is the fact that he has no glasses. The glasses he lost were $1400 and he doesn't want some cheap and nasty $300 pair. Plus in order to get glasses / contacts he has to go for an eye test to determine the strength of the lens, which is a bit hard when he can barely open one of his eyes. I have $1500 on a credit card that I could use to help, but we'll see if it has to come to that first. Hopefully ACC will pay up and he'll be reimbursed for his loss of earnings up until he returns to his job. If he returns... :P
I know this has been a crappy blog. I can't believe I've been online for an hour, I haven't spent this much time online in days. I just wanted to come on and update you all, it would be rude otherwise. On Tuesday and Wednesday nights I had no sleep at all, on Thursday night I eventually fell asleep at 4am only to be woken up by construction workers digging a hole in the road right in front of my house. Okaaay. I thought I'd have a better sleep last night since it was Friday night going into Saturday, thinking there wouldn't be any road works on a Saturday morning. No such luck. I was up until 3 something playing Need For Speed Most Wanted and at 7 I was woken up by what I initially thought was an earthquake. The windows were rattling like fuck and it seemed like the whole house was shaking in its foundations. I doubt it really was, it just seemed that way since I was still pretty much asleep. It was just the road workers again. It only went on for ten minutes or so because someone must have complained and they went away. I'll try again for a good sleep tonight. Being on the sofa itself isn't a problem, it's comfortable as.
There's fuck all on TV tonight, just Sorority Boys which might be amusing. Oh...Jurassic Park 3 is on the other channel, but if it's anything like the Lost World then NO THANKS!! I tried watching the first hour of Lost World last weekend and how fucking boring can you get?!?!
So yeah. I'll go now. Sorry once again for coming across as a tard. I've just been through hell this past week and teamed with a lack of sleep, I'm one cranky, incoherent bitch, instead of the usual cranky, semi-coherent bitch. Take care everyone, have a good weekend! Talk to you again soon.
Thursday May 29th 2008
A quick update
I haven't been on the internet much today because I've been sleeping on and off...it's been a long few days that's for sure. James is okay thank goodness. I managed to get to Wellington, pick him up from the hospital and drive him back here. There was no other way to get back up here.
Thanks a lot to everyone who has emailed me, I'll be replying to you all tomorrow. I read all your messages out to James and he appreciated every single one, and says thank you. Thanks from me too :)
Sunday May 25th 2008, 6.34 pm
Review 332 - Veronica of Simply Charmed
You've been progressing in leaps and months these past few months. You seem to have been focussing on the improvement of your layouts more so than anything else, and your newly acquired skills have definitely been reflected in your current layout. Never before at your site have I seen a layout that is so ideally structured, so neat, so organised. Being honest, your current layout is a dramatic improvement from your former designs.
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Friday May 23rd 2008, 9.30 pm
New keyboard!
I know, big deal right? Wrong!
As you know I spilt drink on my iBook keyboard at the end of last year, causing most of the keys to no longer function. Luckily, apart from the keys, the iBook itself functioned efficiently as ever post-spill. Anyway, from December until today I was using the USB keyboard from our ancient 8 year old iMac Blueberry, and doing so was an ordeal to say the very least. The keys stuck something awful and I had to pound down hard on the space bar just to get it to work. James came back from Wellington a few hours ago and to my surprise he'd bought me a new Apple keyboard from Dick Smith...I'm so happy! After six months I can now type properly again! I'm sure Nellie is pleased - since the old keyboard was so hard to use I used to make godawful typos on MSN Messenger (psgreviews@gmail.com) and not bother correcting them. No excuses now, eh?
Friday May 23rd 2008, 10.45 am
Review 331 - Lil of Hey Girl
I enjoyed taking a look at your Childhood Drawings. I loved your watercolour of Monet's Garden in particular, great use of colours. Very bold. I take it you're a fan of his? I'm not a die-hard connoiseur of art in any form, but having said that, I don't mind admiring the odd impressionist painting or two. I studied art history at school for two whole weeks before I grew bored and chose skipping class over Giotto and Duccio. Artists of the early Italian Renaissance + Rhiannon Phillips = Snorefest. If we'd studied Monet then it would have been a different story for sure.
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Wednesday May 21st 2008, 2.57 pm
A worldly ramble
The 'big OE' has become part of New Zealand culture. Every year, thousands of young - and some not so young - New Zealanders fly out of the country, bound for their big adventure. Many choose to go to London on a working holiday, to the USA to be camp counsellors, or some even go to Japan or Korea to teach English. Others simply travel for the sheer delight of discovering the world - and because they can. Many New Zealanders are very conscious of the fact that there is a whole wide world to explore outside of our small patch at the bottom of the world. As a nation we are geographically isolated from the rest of the world, the nearest country being Australia which is a three to four hour flight across the Tasman Sea, depending on which city you depart from. The fact that we are so far away from Europe, The Americas...from everywhere, gives us an increased desire to see these destinations for ourselves, instead of on the news every night and in magazines. The further the destination, the more magical it becomes, and the more exciting it is to think about traveling there.
I constantly go through what I can only call 'phases' of wanting to travel to a certain destination. I'll find out as much about the place as I can, I'll even look up the airfare and plan my itinerary. The cost of the respective airfare puts me off every time, but I still dream.
In the middle of last year I wanted to travel to South Africa. I even visualised a South Africa page in my Photos section, containing stunning landscapes with Table Mountain serving as a backdrop, and a Flora and Fauna section complete with close up macros of the Protea, the country's national flower. Of course, this fizzled out when I realised that a return airfare per person would be a little over $4000 NZD. A few months later, I started thinking about Egypt. How I'd love to travel there, as my mother did before I was born. Seeing the sun rise on the Pyramids of Giza, to feel the buzz of the bustling marketplaces, bargaining for souvenirs. Sure enough, I eventually faced the reality that going to Egypt - or anywhere - was just a dream. A fantasy. To achieve this goal would come at a high cost. Was it really worth being stuck in a mundane job for months on end, scrimping and saving for what, two short weeks of my life in a foreign place? To have a decent holiday anywhere beyond Australia you need at least $10,000, especially when return flights to virtually anywhere apart from Australia can cost anywhere between $3000-5000. Every traveler needs courage and determination, and I often question whether I possess either. But still, I dream.
My mother left school in the early 80's and spent a year saving her ass off for her big OE. She lived in a flat in Wellington, coming home by train on the weekends for meals. She made it to London where she met up with a penpal who showed her round for a few days. Then she was on her own. She worked in restaurants and bars before ultimately landing a Nanny position with a family who, by all accounts, were rolling in it. They lived in a suburb in London called Fulham, which explains the "Fulham FC" stickers on our ancient dryer. Because of this job my Mum got to spend time in France as well, as the family went on holiday there in the summer. Eventually she left the job because the kids' live-in grandma was a bitch, and travelled around Ireland, Scotland, and Wales on her own. In Scotland she got a job in a hotel and with the money she traveled to Egypt and went up the Nile on a boat. She saw the pyramids, she saw it all. She returned to London where she ultimately met my Dad, a cocky smartass who had traveled to London from his home in Glasgow, Scotland. They married and went to Glasgow to live. When my Mum became pregnant with me, she persuaded him to come back to New Zealand with her, and he did, and I was born. My Mum has always said that one day she'll return to London, and who knows, she might. I hope so.
My Mum left New Zealand when she was 19, and returned when she was 22. When I was younger I expected I'd do the same. I was going to, you know. I came so close. In 2003 when I was 18 I made serious plans to travel to England. I applied for a British Passport so I could live and work there as long as I wanted, and I applied for a job as an Au Pair. I emailed back and forth with the lady I'd be working for, she was all set to call my Mum and talk about it with her. It got to the stage where all I had to do was book my ticket and I'd be set. I even had a couple of thousand in the bank. Needless to say, I never made it there. My Gramps was dying and I felt bad about leaving, knowing that if I did I'd never see him again. So I apologised to the woman for wasting her time and wished her luck in finding someone else. My Gramps died a few months later. I was with James Bell at the time, I ended up getting some computer and tourism qualifications at the local polytech, and I eventually went on to get my first proper job at Telecom which led to countless other jobs in the years that followed. Who knows how it would have turned out if I'd gone to England.
I have actually done a bit of traveling. I went to Australia several times with my Nan when I was younger. We'd stay in The Hilton every time, we'd take taxi's everywhere, and we'd eat out at restaurants every night. My favourite part of staying in hotels was the ability to go and work out in the gym. Back then I was tubby, and I'd go hard on the treadmills to the point where sometimes I fainted, which would be the only reason I'd stop. I'd either fall off in exhaustion or faint. I know it's probably not funny, but I always laugh to myself whenever I remember my fitness shenanigans. When I was 14 I paid to spend time at a local gym where I did the whole "go hard" thing, and I overheard some workers saying they felt sorry for me and "should we tell her we've actually closed for the night". Excuse the digression by the way, you know what I'm like.
In 1999 we ended up going to Singapore after spending a few days in Australia, and I had an unforgettable time. We even took a day tour to Johor Bahru, in Malaysia. A definite culture shock, and an emotional one too when a girl on the tour was run over and killed right in front of me on our way back to the hotel. (I won't go on about it here, I know I've covered it on my potted autobiography thingy under "About Me".) We went on a Night Safari one night, and I remember looking up at the starry sky and thinking "I'll never forget this moment". I never have. I've even got a Singapore Night Safari magnet on my book shelf that glows in the dark, and I notice it every night when I turn my reading light off.
In 2005 I returned to Australia with my partner at the time. He'd booked into a hotel for the first night, and the remaining nights we stayed in a bed bug infested backpackers. This was the first time I'd stayed in grottty accommo, and to this day I can't believe I had drunken sex on the bathroom floor. How disgusting. We were there for a week, and every night we went on the piss, and stumbled back to the backpackers in the early hours of the morning. We were supposed to get jobs over there, but I guess we couldn't handle so we returned to New Zealand a week later. We completely fucked up, we didn't even try to make it work.
A year later we went back, this time to Brisbane. The flight from Wellington to Brissie was awful - four hours of screaming babies and some old mare sitting behind me who kept knocking the back of my seat. When we were queueing up in customs after arriving in Brisbane, some Aussie girl behind me randomly kicked me in the leg. I whirled around, glaring, and she simply smirked at me. "Welcome to Brisbane, Rhiannon", I thought. We ended up cutting our Gold Coast holiday short (we were meant to be in Surfers Paradise for a week but we stayed there two days, hated it, and felt that we'd had enough) and went to Sydney again. This time, we made it work, but by God it wasn't easy. James used most of his remaining money on the bond for the only cheap accommodation we could find. We lived above the Triple Ace Bar on the corner of Elizabeth and Campbell Streets, in Surry Hills. It was a ten minute walk into the city and our room was furnished plus free broadband and tv etc etc. Single bed. James and I tried sharing it but as you can imagine, that didn't work out too well. It was during this time James developed some kind of annoying sinus thing in which he would snore the house down, keeping me awake. He was working as a Premium Accounts Manager at an insurance place, something to do with workers compensation. Because of his snoring, he'd sleep by himself in the bed at night and I'd stay awake, sitting on a mattress on the floor, surfing the net. He'd leave for work at 7am each morning, and after waving him off I'd go to sleep in the bed from 7am to 5pm when he'd return. Sometimes I'd get woken up prematurely by say, a cockroach crawling on my face, but normally I'd sleep right through. Yeah, the place was a fucking dive. $190 a week which is cheap for the city though. As you know, I ended up returning to New Zealand alone in July 2006, and James came back for good in March 2007. I haven't left the country since. I'd like to - I guess - but dreams can be expensive, especially mine. If I can find myself a job that doesn't drive me completely insane, I'm sure I'll keep up with it and eventually save to take myself on a little holiday.
Saturday May 17th 2008, 6.51pm
Review 329 - Mariah of Velociteen
I immediately did a double take when your site loaded. I thought I'd been redirected to a random commercial site, since what I saw in front of me looked so cheap and impersonal. Soon enough I noticed the banner in the middle of the screen which read "Velociteen. Advice, support and friendship. Made by teens 4 teens. The velocity of your life". Velocity means "speed", and there's certainly nothing here on the exterior that is going to set my pulse racing. I know it's all about what's inside, but seriously...why the tacky exterior? This is a teen site - an environment you've created with a specific target audience in mind, and I'm wondering why you're inadvertedly pandering to business people instead. It's like you ripped off a corporate website and slapped your own banner in the middle.
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Saturday 17th May 2008
Preachers of Hate: Followup
Apparently my latest post has been interpreted by some as a general 'bashing of the Christian faith', when in reality I was merely describing the actions of one particular individual. I didn't realise that my blog would be seen as a generalisation about Christians....I thought it was obvious that it wasn't. You know, since I was discussing a fundamentalist, close minded preacher.
From an email I have just received:
I do not appreciate your bashing of the Christian faith.Although what the preacher did was wrong, you said, "No wonder so many people are turned off by Christianity - fundamentalist preachers give the religion a bad name."
It is your ignorance that turns people off to Christianity; many people like you make the assumption that, just because someone did something wrong or was outspoken, doesn't mean that every Christian is wrong or outspoken. You and a lot of other people are stereotyping Christianity, thinking that we all are bad people and lots of people hate us just because one preacher said that to you and your boyfriend. It's entirely wrong, foolish and ignorant to believe such thoughts.
Oh my fucking God. And you go on about how I'm ignorant?
Fundamentalist preachers do give Christianity a bad name, but that's not to say that all Christians share the same stance as he did. I'm not stupid, I do realise that. It should go without saying that there are many open-minded Christians out there. Christina - or should I say Mariah - it seems that you are not one of them. Thanks for proving this to me by being a huge asshole towards me because I am against a certain type of person who happens to share your religion.
By the way, why the pseudonym? A quick Google of your e-mail address indicates that you're Mariah from Velociteen.com, the site that I'm currently in the process of reviewing. Lol.
Friday 16th May 2008
Preachers of Hate
I spotted a manic religious preacher during one of my rare visits into town today. Obviously I paid him no attention, although as I was walking away I remembered a situation I was in a few years ago with a preacher who was standing in the same vicinity as the one I saw today.
It was early 2004 and I was in town with my then boyfriend, James (Bell.) I was 19, he must have been 21. We were sitting down near a statue in The Square, which is a recreational area in the middle of Palmerston North. A random guy came over to us and asked us what our thoughts were on God. I ignored him, but to my surprise James responded, saying he wasn't sure. Oh god, I thought. He'd shown curiousity, now the preacher would go on ad nauseam and probably take advantage of him. He began his spiel, going on about how great God was towards those who believed in Him. "If you believe, you'll go to heaven and have everlasting life", he said. "People who do not believe in Him are evil and are destined for Hell." I decided to pipe up and told him that my Gramps, a generous, hard-working man, had passed away three months before after suffering from terminal bone cancer. He didn't believe in God. Was he in hell?
"Your Grandfather is in hell", is what he said.
Although this all happened a few years ago now, I'll never forget those particular words, and I'm relaying them to you verbatim. I was still majorly grieving. I had been crying every day since he had passed. I no longer do this now since he passed nearly 5 years ago, but it's still a tender subject that I try not to think about. If I do, I'll cry, like I am right now.
I bet you're all expecting me to tell you that I attacked the preacher verbally and/or physically, right? Unfortunately, I was timid back then. I lacked balls, I was weak. I let people walk all over me and treat me like shit, including my boyfriend at the time. I thought I was ugly and I put up with so much because I truly believed I would never be able to get another boyfriend, let alone come across another guy who would be interested in me.
James didn't even say anything in reply to the preachers' hateful statement. I just walked away, hurt. I was stupidly expecting James to be in tow. No such luck - he was still gasbagging away with the fundamentalist preacher who had just told me that my Gramps who'd recently passed away was now in hell. I waited for James and about fifteen minutes later he finally came to me, pamphlets in tow. He had been invited to some religious group thing, and wanted me to lend him my Bible. Instead of dumping his ass for his behaviour, I lent him the Bible and he consequently spent days pouring over it. His Dad came to visit a few days later and I told him his son had been brainwashed by a religious nutcase. Amidst snickers from his sisters, James was 'spoken to' by his Dad. Needless to say, he never went along to the "group."
I'm glad I never believed the religious nutters' hurtful words in the first place, but they still upset me all the same. No wonder so many people are turned off by Christianity - fundamentalist preachers give the religion a bad name. He honestly expected me to buy all the shit he was spouting right after he'd insulted and offended me with his hateful notions (that are probably distorted and incorrect anyway.)
If anyone's going to hell, I hope he does. At least I'd be able to meet him there and pay him out since I was too weak to do it last time.
Wednesday May 14th 2008, 9.18pm
Review 328 - Pam of Face Down
Oh Pam, oh Pam, ohhhh Pam...
No, I'm not re-enacting a non-existent bedroom scene, I'm actually (and unfortunately) expressing my dismay. And my concern. Small matter of being blinded by one "Derek Shepherd", who has chosen to appear on my monitor in many forms, the first of which being in a hideously bright radioactive green hue. Damn, that bites.
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Wednesday 14th May 2008, 12.14am
Baa-aack
I'm absolutely shattered as I write this, but all the same I thought I'd come on and tell you that yes indeedy - I have returned from wild and motherfuckin' windy Wellington. To cut a long and boring story short I was hired on the spot for the job and was told to turn up this morning at 9am sharp.
I slept in and never bothered to turn up.
Hear me out, okay...I woke up at 8.15 am, thought to myself "If I get ready now I can get there on time", and then promptly rolled over and started snoozing again. I woke up for real at 9.15am and checked my phone - there was a text from James saying I was naughty for not going and seeing what it was like, and even though he was just taking the piss, I did feel bad. For about five minutes anyway. I thought about ringing up and telling her a) My alarm didn't go off or b) A close relative was admitted to hospital last night and I didn't get much sleep because I was by their side. I checked my balance and I had $9.95 credit, and I needed to keep $6.00 on my phone for my BestMate plan which recurs on the 17th. I could have only talked to her for about three minutes and who knows how long she would have gone on for, and I didn't want to endanger my BestMate credit so I decided not to call at all. The job didn't pay very well, all it was doing was sitting at a desk (computerless desk) manually using a phone to ring up businesses asking for donations for a charity. They seemed pretty desperate at the interview, they never even asked about my experience. In every single interview I've been to I've been grilled for at least half an hour about all the other roles I've been in. This time it wasn't mentioned at all, she was just talking about the causes they campaigned for. Also, she kept adding "and shit like that" to the end of every sentence, which I thought was quite inappropriate and fully indicative of a lack of professionalism. My grammar and my choice of words is pretty substandard as you well know, but come on...in a job interview? She had one of those "fush and chups" kiwi accents, so really she was like "and shut like thaaaaa". I must confess I say "Wullington" instead of "Wellington", but I like to think I wasn't as bad as that lady. I say "fish and chips" and "shihh like that". Sorry for the confusion. It's 12.10 am, so sue me.
Another reason I decided to not bother with the job was because I don't actually need the money. I know that sounds bad, but it's not what you think - I'm not rolling in it. I just...don't really have any expenses.
Sure, I want a new computer, but at the end of the day I'm not desperate for one. There is nothing wrong with my iBook apart from the keyboard, and I now use an external keyboard anyway. Granted the external keyboard is from my 8 year old iMac and the keys stick, but whatever - it's still useable. I don't have to worry about an iPod (my current one still works, I just can't see the screen because I accidentally smashed it in) because James went and put one on layby at Dick Smith. I didn't know he was planning on doing this and if I knew I would have stopped him, because it is not his responsibility.
The only thing I really wanted money for was to go to the dentist to get some fillings *snore*, but yeah...again, James offered to pay for them but I'm not a bludger. I've been in shit street so many times but I've always managed to get by without heavily relying on others or by going on the dole. No offense to anyone on the dole - those who are on it for genuine reasons anyway. I willingly get myself into shit street, knowing that by leaving jobs I will be broke, so I have to take responsibility for my own actions instead of relying on the government. I create situations for myself and I'm fully aware of the consequences. I know I can't keep leaving jobs forever, but I just have to be in one that feels right. One that doesn't drive me on the verge of insanity. I have to be marginally happy in a job otherwise I will leave. I could be in a top paying job, but if I'm not happy, then the money will mean nothing. This is exactly how it was for me in my last job. (the insurance one Feb-March 2008.)
Anyway, off to bed, night night. Don't let the bed bugs bite, especially if you're staying in a grotty backpackers. The cheaper the price, the greater the...lice.
Sunday 11 May 2008, 8.03pm
Lulzcondomzz.
Greetings lovers, haters, and residents of Wentzville, MO. I started a review this morning, but one thing led to another and in the afternoon I found myself in the city of Napier, at the National Aquarium of New Zealand. Had suuuuch a great time. If you're ever in Napier I definitely recommend checking it out. There was a resident crocodile believe it or not, and no I'm not talking about myself. Its name was Izzy, and she was an estuarine crocodile - the most vicious and aggressive crocs in the world, found in South East Asia and Australia. We didn't get a photo of her because I hadn't brought my camera, and at that stage James hadn't thought to use his cellphone cam. Funnily enough there were kiwis in the aquarium too, even though kiwis are flightless birds.
Just before we left the city we decided to drop by Countdown to get some shampoo, as mine had run out. An old man was at the checkout in front of us, and as we were waiting in line I took a glance at his purchases.
Durex.
Did I see what I thought I'd just seen? Durex? Condoms? I turned around to take another look and upon confirmation I said to James amidst chuckles, "Hey look, that old man's buying condomzz!!111", and for some reason totally forgetting that the old man was right in front of me. According to James, he went red and gave me evils.
Wasn't the only set of evils I received today, some commission-oriented desperado gave me death looks as I left Bond and Bond (an electronics store.) She had come up to us doing the whole "can I help you, if you need anything let me know" thing, but she was looking at James and I as if we were vermin. Sure, James was a lil' scruffy, but it's the weekend and he has every right to dress down. If you had to wear a suit and tie every day of the working week you'd probably want to look like a scruff on the weekends as well. She had no right to look at us the way she did, so as she was walking away I said "I didn't know they employed horses here", because she had a long face and a big mouth. Petty? Sure, but I've never denied that pettiness is my specialty. If people are going to disrespect me right off the bat when I don't even know them, then why should I be civil? I'm not a better person than they are no doubt, so why pretend to be mature and ignore peoples bullshit? Where's the fun in that? I hate retail people who put on airs and graces, there's no need for them to. Anyway, she was casting daggers at me as we left, that's for sure. Lawl. We went a couple of doors down to Dick Smith Electronics though, where we were treated like human beings. I love Dick - everyone who works there actually knows what the hell they're talking about, plus they're friendly. Don't get me wrong, Bond and Bond are okay I guess, although walking into a store and seeing fuckloads of washing machines etc is enough to turn anybody off.
So yeah, job interview tomorrow. LMAO! If I don't get / want the job, I'll be coming back to Palmy immediately - there's no point in hanging around otherwise, I'd rather be at home on the computer. Weekdays spent in Wellington are okay, although I never really get up to much. Usually I meet up with James during his lunch hour and then stroll over to Borders where I spend a few hours reading magazines. You'd think it was a library or something, so many people just sit there for hours reading all the mags. I don't think the staff like me very much because I stuff my face with chocolate bars throughout my reading time, and dump the wrappers on the seat as I go to leave. Borders can have its scary elements though. One time I was upstairs trying to read Victoria Beckham's auto-biography and some girl plopped down beside me and offered me a strawberry. Always partial to free food, I of course accepted, but she started acting like we were best friends and started gassbagging about politics and how 'she worked for the government' just because she was a call-centre operator at the Inland Revenue. Working for the government in a call centre position is nothing to skite about. I've worked for the government too, at the Ministry of Transport and then at the Ministry of Social Development. Big whoop. Nothing to write home about, plus I still ditched their asses. Who'd want to work for those stuffy bureaucratic fuckfaces anyway? Moral of the story - never take candy - or fruit - from strangers.
Anyway, gotta go - talk to you later!! Don't forget to behave yourselves.
Saturday May 10th 2008, 12.11 am
...
There was originally a blog here, but a few minutes after I published it I realised it was a tad too personal - I've set boundaries for myself at PSGR and I have to stick to them, I don't want this turning into another Petshopgirl.TK. Maybe I should set up a separate blog site or something? Who knows.
I'll leave you with this, care of my Extreme Tracker:
Friday May 9th 2008, 12.15 am
For those about to rock...
I will stick my hairy armpit in your face...and then salute you.
I'm selling a corset on Trade Me and thus had to model it, and I photoshopped my armpits because they were slightly hairy. No no, we're not talking acres upon acres of dense bushland, we're talking about a light, feathery down that will be removed tomorrow in the shower. When I say 'photoshopped' by the way, I mean that I took ten seconds out of my super-busy time and used the clone brush to apply a line over the hairy shadow. I immediately noticed it wasn't even the same colour as the rest of my skin, but whatever - I just snickered and uploaded it anyway. Someone will probably buy it. Haha, someone's gonna get arrrmpit corset, ewwwWwwww. Don't ask why I bought a corset in the first place...one of those silly impulse buys I guess. I stupidly purchased a size 6, which I think is the equivalent of an American size zero? It fit - just - but not the comfiest by any means. If it wasn't for my boobs I'd be able to fit it for sure. I really hate those stupid, obtrusive honkers.
Ummm....I have some bad news...I was offered a job today. The whole thing sounds very fishy, but for the shit wage they're offering they are obviously desperate for some naive mug to be taken under their wing. I have an interview at 10am on Monday, so we'll see what happens in terms of whether I bother to turn up or not. If I did, by the sounds of it I'd have the job since I've sadly got a lot of experience in what is the sad little industry they're a part of. I figured I'd take it and buy a new iPod with my first pay and then leave? As usual I'll probably conduct a poll, since at 23 I am incapable of making my own decisions regarding my own life, and have to rely on my visitors who I've never even met before.
On the subject of meeting, Nellie tells me she could be coming down my way in July with a few of her university peeps. I wonder if we'll meet, and how that would be? I'm not sure if I've told you this, but I've met one other 'PSGR Person', a chick from Wellington named Kelsey. She's a member of my fanlisting! We didn't hang out for long but she was extremely cool in any case. Since everything with The Beast (see Online/Offline article, Scribbles section) happened a few years ago now, I think I'm ready to meet online peeps again.....omg....I've just seen a daddy long legs spider near me....up on the roof just above my head...these are the only spiders I am scared of!!! Oh god....*shivers*...
BRB. I'm either going to have to fly spray it and wait till it drops down and then boot it with a shoe, or stand on the table and reach up to smush it with said shoe. SO scared right now....I know you guys are laughing at me but we all have our fears, and this is mine....
Great. Just great. I sprayed it with fly spray and it dropped down and I can't find it. I'm shivering and shuddering as if I were a spiritual nutcase attempting to vanquish a demon. Actually, vanquishing demons would be a breeze, I'm sure of it. A walk in the park compared to Spider vs Lazy Webpage Reviewer: The Confrontation. I discovered, I attempted to conquer, and he got away. HE GOT AWAY.
(He got away.)
PS: Just confirming the fact that you realise my armpits are not grossly hairy, and that I'll hopefully be on tomorrow with either a new review or another assortment of moronic ramblings. I'm off to bed now, to read Babysitters Club Super Mystery #1: Babysitters' Haunted Mansion. Just for nostalgia's sake, of course. (Of course.) I used to be a die-hard BSC fan when I was 12, but I stopped reading them once that awful new babysitter (Abby) was introduced. It all went downhill after she was written in, that's for sure.
Wednesday May 7th 2008, 11.47 pm
Teh Updatez.
These updates are minor and probably won't interest you to a great extent, but:
I haven't bought from an actual 'real life' store in ages - more of a variety to be found online I think! Who else feels uncomfortable in changing rooms? I go in there, try on something, notice it looks like shit, and while I'm taking it off in disgust there'll be a sales girl banging the door down wanting to know how it looks. I'll be like "Ummm, great....", when really it's "fuck off, it looks like shit and now I just wanna get out of here". One time I tried on a dress, noticed it was hanging off me like a tent (despite it being small, must've been a bad cut or something) and quickly stepped out of the changing room to show James, and the sales girl sprinted over trying to have a look, and I quickly went back in the changing room and slammed the door in her face before she could see. Yeah well.
Tuesday May 6th 2008, 12.09am
PSGR 4 Wentzville, Missouri
Just a quickie - I've removed several sites from the queue because the URLs no longer exist / the sites have closed.
Yup.
Struggling to think of something interesting to make up for the boring crap above...
Oh yeah - I'd like to say a random "HI!" to the Opera user from Wentzville Missouri who I've noticed visiting my site at least 15 times a day. I have no idea who you are, but you'd better believe that I love you. Seriously, my Extreme Tracker isn't the same unless I see your IP every time I refresh it!
PS - Just refreshed it again, and there you are babe! I've always craved a reliable lover.
Sunday May 4th 2008
Give joy to your beloved woman
Many people have asked me what my secret is when it comes to pleasing my woman in the bedroom. What makes my love cannon constantly tick, and why does it continuously keep ticking for considerable lengths of time before finally erupting...erupting like a volcano of desire, with lava flowing down between my woman's river banks of lust?
Bah, enough of that. You can always read literotica at 'those' kind of sites, plus I've always struggled when it comes to fiction.
Every few weeks I log into my Gmail account to delete the neverending influx of spam that fuckin' takes up shop in my spam folder. Stupid spam bots, I don't have a cock and I never will. Do they send me this shit because it's got around that I wish I'd been born male? What, do they think I'm a Peter Peter Penis Eater?
Gotta give a medal in the PenisLympics to the authors of the following subject lines:
Maaan.....so many people want to help me with my PSGR Cucumber. It's so small and pathetic that I can't see or feel it at all! Oh wait...what's that...ohhh, never mind....
Sunday May 4th 2008
LOL Jake: A followup
Mmm, the lame ass dramuh I've been craving has finally arrived! I can only thank Jake a million times over for initiating it in the first place. Unlike some, I don't tend to go around looking for drama, (not anymore, anyway :P ) but I'm always willing to retaliate and defend myself when people try and start shit with me. After all, that's what Jake did. It's just a pity that he so obviously cannot handle the heat.
Before I start though...
I love people who yell at me and are to afraid to link to their own sites. Honestly, what the hell is their problems? And since when was petshop girl worshiped by the pathetic underclass masses? =)
It's called flaming. When you start shit with someone, drama-crazed peeps will come to your site, and some might even send some choice comments your way. Anonymous comments are pretty much standard when it comes to e-drama - most of the time it's people who don't have the balls to leave their real details, however a small fraction of them mightn't actually have URLS. I know there are quite a few people who come to PSGR who don't have a site of their own.
Secondly...what's with the worshipping shit? So random.
Hmm... Is there something wrong with being NICE to someone? And I don't remember "submitting my website for review." So who the hell does she fucking think she is? And honestly, what I said to Angela at Shorelight was MY OWN OPINION, it had nothing to do with my current blog layout. And for you information, the band on the splash page is ARMOR FOR SLEEP. Not "four guys." Kthanks bitch. By the way, I understand why you're such a bitch. Honestly, I don't think it's your fault. I've seen it before: The kind of people who go around flaming everyone being as mean as possible, thinking it will hurt everyone's feelings and make you feel better about your own, selfish life. But seriously... could you be anymore unoriginal?
Eh? What does being nice to someone have to do with anything? I realise that you're feeling pretty fucking stupid right now since Angela herself actually liked her review, and you assumed she wouldn't so you launched into some massive PSGR dissfest to make her feel better. It's okay to feel the shame that I know you so deeply feel.
LOL, I fucking love you because you've just made my day by revealing that you think a few lines of criticism constitutes a site review. I did not review your site, I merely pwned it. Apart from one unrequested review that can be found in my "Scribbles" section, I only write requested reviews and those reviews consist of a lot more than a few measly lines. Once again - I did not review you, and guess what - you don't even have to ask someone to review you. Although I personally don't, a fuckload of other people write unrequested reviews and they have every right to do so. To expect someone to give you feedback only when you've asked for it only shows your complete and utter n00binezz.
I know that what you said at Shorelight was your own opinion, hence my saying so in my previous blog.
And for you information, the band on the splash page is ARMOR FOR SLEEP. Not "four guys."
LOLOLOLOLOL....I said "The aforementioned splash page contains a celebrity image of four guys" because there were....ummmm....four guys. If I thought the band name was Four Guys I would have used appropriate capitalisation.
By the way, I understand why you're such a bitch. Honestly, I don't think it's your fault. I've seen it before: The kind of people who go around flaming everyone being as mean as possible, thinking it will hurt everyone's feelings and make you feel better about your own, selfish life.
Oh Jake. I'm crying as I type this. Finally, FINALLY someone has seen through the tough, teflon-coated veneer and realised I am but a pathetic, vulnerable human being, shallow and superficial. O, thy Jaketh hath revealeth thine true self! Praise you! Praise you! Are you Jesus by the way? Because you'd better believe I see you as my saviour.
I'm not sure if you're trying to insult me by calling me a bitch, but you're not exactly telling me something I'm not already aware of and it doesn't hurt me in the slightest. I proudly stand by my universal recognition of being a bitch. I'd rather risk being labelled a bitch because I like to be straight up and honest than to be seen as some boring ass kisser who sugarcoats and lies their way through reviews. If you honestly think I purposefully bash the shit out of people for kicks then you clearly have no idea how this WPR operates. I suggest you read the "Info" and "Submit" pages before you make generalisations about my attitude towards reviewees. I also encourage you to arrange your words more carefully next time before you make colourful comments about another site. What, did you think I'd ignore your shit? You must be joking.
You can't expect to slag off someone's site and then throw a shit fit when the webmaster returns the favour. If you can't handle the fire, you shouldn't have started the flame.
Love ya!
Saturday May 3rd 2008
LOL Jake
I've been receiving a few comments from various people lately about a supposed change in attitude I've had. Many people think I've been softening up in my old age (so shameful) and I've rarely been displaying my well known immaturity, bitchiness and hypocrisy. Maybe this is the reason why I've been getting a modest 150-170 daily unique hits of late, instead of the good old 200-300 from the days of yore. Not sure if the person who said the following would appreciate being linked to the comment, so I'll not bother, but what do you think of this:
I just read your latest review, geee you're really being generous with rating websites! The latest two websites you reviewed I thought should only deserve two or three stars. You're becoming less like Simon Cowell and more like uhmm Sharon Osborne. Whats happening to mean old Rhiannon everybody hated lmao.
Some may argue I was paying homage to the mean old Rhiannon in my latest review of Angela's site, Shorelight.Org.
As usual though, in my opinion I just thought I was being my usual blunt and honest self, and obviously Angela herself thought the same when she emailed me -
You very recently reviewed my site (http://www.petshopgirlsreviews.com/2008/angela.php) and I sincerely want to thank you for the constructive criticism. I don't know how "fresh" (is that the right word?) it is to read someone's opinion on the bad points of my site. The people I usually talk to are great people, but they always say that my content is perfect or to update more. It goes without saying that they're not helpful at all.
Angela is obviously mature enough to realise that despite how it may have sometimes seemed, I was not unleashing some kind of hateful attack on her. I mean well in every single review I write. I've had the shit blasted out of me myself and more often that not it's made me realise many things that no one else has bothered to tell me. Often, this is the very reason why so many people submit to PSGR, because they want an HONEST opinion and are prepared to receive some hardcore criticism. If people had a problem with this then my queue would be a pathetic, dust-ridden ghost town. People should know what to expect when they submit.
So, I did not have a single problem with Angela as a person AT ALL, and Angela did not have a problem with my review of her site. Therefore I was somewhat surprised to see this comment left at her site, from Jake.
Hola =) Wow, Petshopgirl came down on you hard. She needs to get over it, because your site is 100x better then hers, anyways. AND you're revamping, meanwhile! =D Good luck on the revamp!
First of all, loser, MY NAME IS NOT FUCKING PETSHOPGIRL. I'm insulted that you think I'd go under such a deadbeat, loserish pseudonym. The word "Petshopgirl" is part of my unoriginal site title and that is all. I am an unoriginal fuck who could not think of a decent site name so I took the name of my favourite band, Pet Shop Boys, and changed "Boys" to "Girls". Oh well, your site URL is shittier than mine anyway, so why should I even bother explaining myself. My name is Rhiannon, but I guess the fact that it contains more than one fucking syllable is enough to throw certain people so they resort to calling me "Petshopgirl" instead.
The fact that Jake thinks Shorelight is better than PSGR is his own opinion and whether I agree or disagree does not come into it. The loser is entitled to his own opinion, however valid or invalid it may be.
Also, what is it exactly that I need to get over, fuckwit? Get over the fact that Angela submitted her site because she wanted to receive an honest opinion; an opinion that she accepted as such, realising it was not a personal attack in any way?
Upon visiting Jake's site I am greeted with a pointless splash page and a lengthy bunch of words at the top of my browser window: HIDE{BEHIND}THAT/REDLIPSTICK/OF [YOURS]- - - - - brokenbones I can almost smell the teen angst from here. I can almost see the overkill of black eyeliner. I can almost see the James Blunt-esque suit jacket teamed with jeans getup. Cue vomit. 99.9% of the human population mock James Blunt for a reason.
The aforementioned splash page contains a celebrity image of four guys, who are quite possibly some of the most unattractive guys I've ever seen in my life. Underneath this illegally obtained celebrity image that lyke, ttly defies copyright lawz, there are two links - "Thing1" and "Thing2". One leads to coming soon page, stating that there was a layout up but it "stunk". The "Thing2" link led to an incoherent, poorly constructed blog that was extremely difficult to read on account of the miniscule font size and lack of line height. The layout is adorned with pointy breasted 1950's playgirls, and the entire fucking thing took over five minutes to load on my dialup modem. Most sites take less than 30 seconds. If you think my site is a gigantic bucket of maggot infested, twenty year old horse poo, then take a look at your own, bebe.
Saturday May 3rd 2008
I'm every nightmare you've ever had. I'm your worst dream come true.
There's nothing to be ashamed of if you admit to having a fear of clowns. In fact, I don't think I've ever come across anyone who has actually liked them! For the last couple of weeks James and I have been getting out horror movies for the weekend, with a five for $10 deal at the nearest video shop. Out of the five chosen last time, James chose two - Severed and Alone in the Dark. The latter was pretty much the worst horror I've ever seen in my life, (apart from The Boogeyman ) but then again when I found out Tara Reid starred in it, I'd already made up my mind that it'd be C-grade shite. The three I chose were Children of the Corn, The Woods, and It. I've watched many a movie in the horror genre but none of them have managed to shake me up as much as It did, and it's because I've always hated clowns in the first place. Practically every time I've seen a clown in real life I usually think "rapist/kiddy fiddler" anyway, but It was scary in a different way - his appearance alone freaked the shit out of me, especially when he bared his fangs. For the first time ever a horror movie has succeeded in scaring me shitless.
Who here is familiar with the Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th movies? Who is your favourite out of Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees? Maybe I should finally make another site poll (see the sidebar) and ask you guys. One mindless question down, nine to go!
I've been getting into some new music genres lately, including...delta blues. Namely a lot of the 1931 recordings from Skip James. Can you believe it? The Devil Got My Woman features heavily in the cult classic movie Ghost World, because this is the song that the character Enid (Thora Birch) plays over and over again. I've pretty much been doing the same thing. I'm not sure what it is exactly that draws me to the song, perhaps the fact that it was recorded eons ago (1931) and the fact that his voice in this particular tune sounds so...haunting. I know I've got an eclectic taste in music, but I never imagined I'd start appreciating old skool rhythm and blues. Some other songs I've had on repeat lately include:
I know that I'll probably end up hating these songs since I'm listening to them all the goddamn time. Talk about a sad existence.
I was about to sign off just now but then I remembered I haven't told you about my latest cemetery escapades. If you're mature-minded you'll probably want to skip this part, but I saw a grave of a lady who's name was Gay Hawes. Also a few weeks ago at the Karori cemetery I saw a grave for a "Sgt Pepper" (Beatles fans will realise the significance here) and another MASSIVE grave with "Hoare" in huge letters at the top. This reminds me of last year in the Kaiapoi cemetery when I saw a grave for "Willie Holder" (I took a pic of this, should be in the May / June / July / August blog archives) and one from Karori cemetery, of "Fanny Packer", or maybe it was "Fanny Handler". Damn, some people have the worst luck...
PS - I'll be around more frequently for the time being, so no more of this "only blogging on weekends" crap. Anyone feel like a new Webmasters Behaving Badly? I've been so out of touch lately....